Monkeyland

Links our guests have found useful. Before, during, and after.

• Poison Control Save the number before you arrive. Not because of the animals — because of the chili. Link removed — Terry says we can't "endorse outcomes"
• The Waiver (PDF, 214 pages) Our most-requested document, usually by fax, usually by firms. File too large to host. Like our liability.
• Marcel’s List Check whether you’re on it before booking. Dave: yes. Updates too fast to host. He added someone during this sentence.
• Our TripAdvisor Page 4.1 stars, which we feel proves that people confuse fear with excitement in the moment. Removed at TripAdvisor's request. Their lawyers called ours. Terry enjoyed the company.
• Zebra Tip Line Have you seen him. Please. It has been since June. The line is Susan's now. Do not call Susan.
• Monkey Importers Our longtime supplier and sister operation. Where do the monkeys come from? Here. Where does it get them? That is between Monkey Importers and God. The first link that worked. Draw your own conclusions.
• Visitor Statistics The website counts everyone who arrives. Terry counts everyone who leaves. The two numbers have never matched, and we have agreed to stop bringing it up. Also works. Updated hourly, like the counter should have been.
• The Fireworks Outlet Next Door Referral partner, neighbor, and — twice — first responder. No website. No fear. No eyebrows, since the second time.