Monkeyland

Est. 1971 — Exit 114, behind the fireworks outlet

Reaching us is easy. It’s the leaving that books up.

Email

terry@monkeyland.org

Terry answers between depositions, so response times vary with the docket. Please do not use the words “liable,” “negligent,” or “zebra” in the subject line, as these are filtered directly to the shredder, which is also Terry.

By phone

No.

The phone has been in the enclosure since 2019. If something answers, hang up. If it calls you back, that’s Susan — stay calm, state your group size, and let her set the date. Her cancellation policy is not written down anywhere and yet everyone complies with it.

In person

Exit 114, behind the fireworks outlet. If you reach the crater you’ve gone too far, and frankly we have questions about the crater too.

Walk-ins welcome. Walk-outs, historically, around 94%.

By mail

Monkeyland, P.O. Box 71, shared with the fireworks outlet. Assume everything arrives lightly singed. Important documents should be sent in triplicate: one for us, one for the nest, one for whatever Susan is building.

Complaints

The complaint box was retired after it became, in this order: a nest, a weapon, and evidence. Complaints may now be shouted into the parking lot, where they will be heard, remembered, and — if Marcel is out — attributed.